i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
