what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
