He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The Olympian is in my bed
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize