there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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