a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
