we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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