Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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