How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
