the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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