We won't sleep together?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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