playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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