Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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