A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
