Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
