New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
