You work out of a Hotel?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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