She announced her abortion via fbk
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
