what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize