it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
