I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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