OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
