I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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