these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order