Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You can't just leave with hair like that
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins