I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.