Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
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And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
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hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.