i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I understand Curling. That high.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
