And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
