I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize