he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
