he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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