dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize