i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize