actually, I'm a sock model
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
