The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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