on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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