My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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