Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
