No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i dont even know how to be here
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
