I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
