you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
