question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
