im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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