saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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