Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
