his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize