Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize