So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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