I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
