We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize