we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
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I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
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Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.