You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
