you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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