it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
there is puke in my bra ... again
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
