This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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