forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
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I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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