i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
