I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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