ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
