Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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