She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
