so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He kissed a someone with a penis
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
