I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
