So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
