know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
