I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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